The Poet's Progress

I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated this blog! University is keeping me busy. Today I have my second concert of the week; next week I'm reading at an open Mic night (which isn't terrifying at all...); on Tuesday I helped with a sixthform assembly... this is just a small sample of the general madness and awesomeness of University. Not to mention the work of course... Normally I blog to procrastinate, so perhaps my absence is a good sign. However, today's blog is different. For my first semester Creative Writing module, I am required to hand in 72-80 lines of poetry/ a 1500 word short story accompanied by a 500 word critical commentary on the development of my writing. The deadline is in about two weeks time, and I'm trying to marshal my thoughts. What have I learned, aside from how not to use a microwave? I am planning a blog on all the accidental things I've learnt at university, most of which relate to cooking or cycling, but you'll have to wait for that thrilling document until the Christmas holidays! :) 

So this post is about how I edit a poem, and the changes I've been making to that process. You will get to see various samples of my unfinished poetry. Although most of the time I'm quite loud, I'm actually cripplingly shy when it comes to showing anyone my creative work; sending off portfolios to get into University was a big step for me. So please be kind...

When I first started writing, I didn't edit my work at all, or revisit it. I just sat in my room with my computer, creating notepad file after notepad file of 'poems'. I still use notepad for this; not only is it simple and uses very little memory space on my computer, it reminds me not to get too sanctimonious about anything I've written. If a poem half-works, the idea of going back and dissecting it to try and get it perfect can seem scary, or even illogical. As a consequence I have literally hundreds of files of poems that are half-good (by my standards!). There's something about each one that I like, or liked at the time, so I can't bring myself to delete them, but I don't believe in them enough to edit them. The thing is, there is no point churning out realms of half-good material that will never be accepted for anything, and you will eventually regret. It's better to edit whilst the original idea is still fresh in your mind. 

So I've begun to develop my own writing and editing process! I still have a long way to go, but by putting more time and attention into my writing, I'm creating poems that I don't want to delete instantly, and hopefully poems I can use for my end of semester assignment. 

So from one rough draft:

multiply yx²,

the untested solution to all relationships,

predictable as a coin rising

and falling, as the number

governing how many times

you can toss two people together

and they still fall apart.

 To the edited version: 

Still it sits on my desk,

untested, as If:

all relationships were predictable

as a coin rising

and falling, as the number

governing how many times

you can toss two people together

and they still fall apart.

The differences are small, but a small change can make a big difference. In this poem, I was thinking about probability, based on the toss of a coin, so it made sense to make each stanza two lines long, to represent the heads/tails yes/no dichotomy. In my first draft, most of the stanzas are three lines, which was inconsistent and served no purpose in the poem. I also reorganised the sentence to use the 'If:' proposition, which is used in computer language to represent a choice and was a motif I used at the start of the poem. 

So did editing it make it any good? I'm not sure, to be honest. Better is not synonymous with good. I did actually send this poem off to a poetry e-zine, but I was rejected - something I'm told I will have to get used to...! :D At first I was disappointed*, but I know now that one rejection doesn't mean the work isn't any good. There are ideas and lines I like in this poem which I will probably go back to, and maybe write something else from.

Tip No.1: If you have a bad poem, and you're not sure where to go with it, choose the best line and use it as a starter/inspiration for an entirely new poem. Or use it to re-write your first attempt. 

So this is how I write:

1) Rough work.

I carry around a little black book with me at all times, in which I scribble poetry, oddments of prose, good words, random phrases, and notes to myself. It's scruffy, full of bits of paper, and I love it to pieces. Also, I try to carry a really good pen with me. Some poems are re-worked several times in the book, and there are plenty of abandoned stubs. I just found the phrase 'How does she feel? / Like Cigarettes & sunshine' scribbled in one corner. This is possibly one of my most private, precious possessions and I never show anyone its contents, ever. 

2) Re-editing on paper.

This is a new phase for me. I copy the poem out, making changes as I go. I read it aloud and try out variants on different lines.

3) Thinking break

I'm most inspired when I'm writing in the heat of the moment, scribbling as fast I can, but what I lack when I'm writing like this is perspective. So usually I leave the poem there for a while, if I can bear it. A few hours, or a few weeks later, I'll pick it up again and try to cast a more critical eye over my work. This is important as things that seemed like great ideas then can be deceptive, and you're more likely to pick up out-of-place phrases or awkward ideas on a second reading.

4) Typing up

This used to be my first, or even second step! I write up all my work onto notepad files, which I then back up on my memory stick. As I write, I re-edit again, mostly for style rather than content. Sometimes I rephrase things and substitute adjectives, with the help of the ever wonderful thesaurus.com, but as I do most of my work on paper now I edit less on the computer than before. At this stage, I'm trying to look at how my poem looks overall, including aesthetically, whereas at earlier stages I work as if through a magnifying glass, focusing on each word individually and slowly joining the dots between them and their neighbours.**

Tip No. 2: Back up everything. Twice. Losing your work is the most disheartening thing ever. 

5) Re-naming and other fussy activities

At this point, whatever I've done is as finished as it will ever be. I have started revisiting old poems, though. There's this one poem I wrote over the summer which is terrible, but I love the expressions I used, so I'm breaking it down into several mini-poems, each working with one of the ideas I conflated in the original. This involves a lot of re-writing and editing, but hopefully it will give new life to a dead poem. I also rename things, check my spelling & grammar (punctuation doesn't matter - if it's wrong, it's artistically wrong). I also keep a record of everything I write, no matter how awful, along with notes and dates. This isn't necessary, but it does help me keep a track of what I've done, and where I think I'm going. 

So now I'm going to be brave, and show you something I started yesterday, as an example of how I edit/create: 

Stage one - rough scribblings:

New Directions                     <-- something one direction need to take

November sinks like

November is sinking.

Around Ely it stops, and frost

frond-like wraps the carriage

up, and we are the lost.

The sky is gone soon the sky

At Thetford it melts go the last call

for tickets, please

At Thetford I watch                                            <-- line length

it wallow in the faces

of the grey people boarders

who board boarders, rigid in their reserved places

who talk who are going west, away

the only compass-point

here. Before Peterborough the day        (misspelled Peterbrough)

is over, and to the east

the last autumn’s fingertips disappear. 

I've actually transcribed that from my book, scribblings out included... :D

Stage two: editing

As the East, as the crow flies

November is sinking.

Around Ely it stops, and frost

frond-like wraps the carriage

up, and we are lost.

At Thetford the Thetford stop I watch

it wallow try to warm the faces

of the grey boarders sitting

rigid in their reserved places

With the From east to west,

West For them, going west is going away,

As fast as we can run away

Wst, November clings on behind

West, to Peterbrough’s lights

and the night ahead

Like the sun we only go                                 unimpeded

from east to west. Soon the day

closes on Peterborough, and like

November, the fens push us away

into December. This is the east                  restless December

where good weather goes to die.

and when you can still see

and the voices telling you home

is near, and the

They told you it wasn’t far from home.

They didn’t mean to lie.  

You can see the point where I tried out lots of different lines, adding one on top of another until I was forced to start a new paragraph! Without the crossings out, it looks like this: 

East, as the crow flies

November is sinking.

Around Ely it stops, and frost

frond-like wraps the carriage

up, and we are lost.

At the Thetford stop I watch

it try to warm the faces

of the grey boarders sitting

rigid in their reserved places.

Like the sun we only go

from east to west. Soon the day

closes on Peterborough, and like

November, the fens push us away

into December. This is the east 

where good weather goes to die.

They told you it wasn't far from home.

They didn't mean to lie.  

 At this stage, it still needs another edit, and I haven't decided what I think of it yet. For one thing, I need to look at the train lines again and work out whether Ely or Thetford comes first on the Norwich-Peterborough journey. There are awkward moments; for instance, the end of stanza three feels too long. I'd like to put a line break in after 'fens', but this would disrupt the day/away rhyme, which took me a long time to settle on. I am pleased with the sudden change of tone at the end of the poem, but I'm not sure how clear the story of the poem is. Can you see that I'm on a train, travelling home, in the late autumn? Can you imagine the fens as I saw them that morning? It's too early to tell yet. But there, it is, and for now, I'm pleased with it. 

Everyone has their own editing process. I'm still working on mine, and I'd love to hear about what works for you. Leave me a comment/or send me a tweet @corybantically - I'd love to hear from you! As always, thank you for your patience in reading this far.
God Bless,
J.R. x 

*really grumpy, and may have had a secret weep later

**I'm sorry for that sentence. I really am.