I have decided to keep up my blog! ( hums death star theme tune!).
So...
Since I last posted, my life has rather vaguely revolved around school, grades, subjects and french revision. I still believe education has the power to be terrifically exciting, I've just realised it makes every other aspect of your life boring. Being a bit of a geek (ehem...yes.), after a day of school all I can think of to talk about is...school. Conclusion: It's time to change the subject.
The sun has come back! I'm feeling happier already. I'm one of those awkward people who hates whatever season I'm in, but now isn't too bad, if a little windy. I have a feeling this summer will be beautiful. Already the skys of my mind are a vivid blue, the thin clouds embossed far below the level of my thoughts. At last, after my long struggle last year, I'm properly happy again. I've been fine for a month and a half, maybe two, and I feel more like myself than I have in two years.
Last night I washed and plaited my hair (with some help, hairdressing is not my forte!) and now I have rather wonderful wavy hair. The sixthform at my school (drat, I'm doing it again!) had to dress on the theme 'Movies' today, so I came as a rather feeble impression of Hermione Granger, complete with wand. Not overly imaginative, but my wardrobe and purse are rather sparse for exciting constume making. The wand, a remnant of a childhood Harry Potter obsession, has a light up tip and sound effects, which transformed my sober and mature sixthform friends into overexcited wizard-wannabes. Brilliant! Any time you think your friends are getting too serious, a short trip back to their childhood will solve the problem. I grew up with Harry Potter and his friends, from early primary school, and it was noticable how everyone I talked to today took the wand into their stride. It's part of our culture as children of the 90's - we're the Harry Potter generation.
Sadly this beautiful day hasn't been so perfect for everyone. I was woken by my radio-alarm telling me about the earthquake and subsequent Tsunami hitting Japan and spreading out across the pacific. We flow from one horror story to another, war and revolution to natural disaster and on. Has it always been like this? The world precariously balanced, as if any moment we could collapse into terror, the news flashes baying their sadistic sincerity. I wonder if we're living through a moment of particular disaster and - if the earth lasts that long! - one day, we'll tell our children about watching Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, New Zealand, Australia, Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Sudan, the economies, the EU, all crumble under blood and fire and water. Perhaps one day people will be so used to democracies dividing and people dying in their multitudes, nameless, we'll become numb to it all. Do disasters raise our humanity, or grind it away?
Jesus. In disaster he fell on the cross, under the thumb of a great empire tearing away the liberties of his people. He had nothing and was humbled, dying under the mocking calls of soldiers whilst his followers hid and denied his name. Is there anything more terrible than the agony of an innocent who dies to save the guilty? Is there anything braver, than to walk to one of the most painful and humiliating forms of death knowing you could escape - Jesus is God, he could have - but choosing to? Our God chose to walk to death that day. But then. Then.
Imagine the might of the flood. The hurricane. The storm and tornado and tsumani and earthquake and avalanche and the radiant poison of the pollutants and fires, their toxic gases spreading over earth. All these things can take away your homes, your familes, your live. They are killers. But that is the end of there power: their dominion ends at death. Look. There is the pause, where we wait, listening. What happens next?
God. Death took an innocent man in Jesus, like thousands today, the people dying as I write this in the tsunami, the people slipping away at the end of their lives, the others, the many. Yet because Jesus died, God himself in human form, something miraculous is happening.
After the boundary of death there is God's kingdom. God rules, death is defeated, the tsunami and the poisons and the aching seeping wound of evil on the earth is nothing. I believe in this Kingdom, the dead are living. Jesus opened the gates of life and he is holding out his hand, reaching out for the sufferers to show them the way.
Basically... Death is an Epic Fail!
Even in the darkest night we have hope, whether your darkness is a bad patch at school or languishing in prison or waiting for the waters to recede so you can search for your loved ones and destroyed homes. If you are out there in one of those traumatised countries, or just suffering in your own lives, I hope things will change for you soon. Thousands of people out there are praying for you & God is with you. It's a little hard to express without sounding insincere, but I really do hope and believe that there is always hope, and God can change lives. And to the people of Japan, the world is with you in your suffering.
...I think I just invented a split personality blog. I really need to improve my writing!...
Peace out & God Bless!
J.
